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October 3, 2004
Tribute to Bill Brewer
Last month saw the death of a friend of both Michael and myself, that of Williiam (“Bill”) Dellinger Brewer, Jr., of Wilmington, North Carolina. He had been fighting a long battle illnesses, and had finally succumbed on September 3rd.
I’d known Bill for about eight years, and still had not known much of the things I read in his obituary, at Star News Online. I knew that had served in the military, but was unaware that he was a US Army Chaplain’s assistant or that he came from a military family.
In fact, it’s hard for me to explain just how I knew Bill without explaining my relationship with his long-time partner, Christian (Chris) Zimmerman. In those days, I only knew Bill as “Daddy Bill” because it was his partner, “Boy” Chris that I first met. In March of 1996, we were part of the formation of the new Southeast Conference of Clubs, an organization designed “to promote brotherhood, sisterhood, and camaraderie among member clubs” in the southeastern United States, among other things. Part of this meant attendance at each other’s events, like annual “runs”, banquets, and other events, for example, the yearly Panther Prowl, held in Atlanta by the Panther L/L.
After I got clean, the only leather- oriented events in which I felt comfortable involved Bill. I looked up to Bill as a source of both recovery and spirituality.
It wasn’t long before Chris went from being "Scribe" to becoming the President and I wound up the Treasurer of the SECC, so we were frequently at each other’s events, constantly on the phone with one another, and sent emails galore to each other. Our families became close, and Michael stayed with Bill and Chris several times while doing business up in Wilmington.
After I got clean, the only leather events in which I felt comfortable involved Bill, who had been sober for some years. I looked up to Bill a source of both recovery and spirituality. When Menamore (Chris and Bill’s home club) held their annual event in Wilmington in 2003, I gravitated toward Bill as often as I could, grateful for his support and wisdom. On the Sunday night after the event, Bill and I spent some quality time together, watching the season premiere of HBO’s Six Feet Under.
Bill and I bonded that weekend, but I’m sorry to say that it was the last time I would see him. Sadly, I allowed myself to become distant from Chris; who had become busy with his own life concerns. I never seemed to be able to get a response when I called or emailed him.
Bill Brewer touched the lives of a number of different people, many of whom I call my friends. He will always have a special place to me, and I can look at his photographs today and know that the warmth in his eyes in the images still exists, wherever he is; and that he’s watching us—Chris, me, and the rest of those that he loved.
Posted by Bastique at October 3, 2004 2:01 PM