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January 11, 2005
Giving Back
I take a recovery meeting into the Broward County Jail every Tuesday—for no reason other than I love doing this kind of service. Before last Tuesday, it had been six months since I took my last meeting, and since the unit I go into is a six month program, none of the guys have gotten to know me yet.
Last week, I shared my story and the inmates did their shares by asking questions. Not exactly how a recovery meeting is supposed to go, but I didn’t make a big deal about it. Ideally I would have a speaker come in with me, but my speaker canceled out too late for me to find a replacement, and tonight I had to go in on my own, again. I decided to take an authorized text of the 12-step program for which I take the meeting in, and I read from it, shared a bit, and then asked the inmates to share themselves. Other than one early question, the other men really felt like opening up tonight. I like the fact that I have that kind of effect on them.
There was an incident tonight, when I went in—as I came in, instead of going directly through to my guys unit, they brought me into the adjoining unit. I asked the deputy on duty, one who was there before, if I had to sign in. As he was around before, I was joking about him remembering my name. Apparently something was misunderstood, because as I was leaving, Deputy A began grilling me about next time I try to pass him without signing in, he'd personally escort me out. I was really taken aback by his behavior, but more so, I was really bothered and disturbed that he would be actually yelling at me.
I don't take meetings into jail because I have to, and I know some of these guys treat inmates like cattle. But there's no excuse for them to treat me this way as well. I have to remember, though when some dumbass CO has a bad day and takes it out on me, that I'm doing it for these inmates. It sucks, but why should I allow this to impact my inmates by stopping my meetings. Some of these CO's help to make their lives miserable enough—I shouldn't allow them to do it through me as well.
Posted by Bastique at January 11, 2005 11:46 PM
Comments
Wow, that's what I call giving back. Good work Cary and don't let the CO bug ya.
Aaron
Posted by: Aaron at January 12, 2005 1:17 AM
I hear ya,Cary.Keep doing what you are doing though...because Oh my gosh...there are sooo many people that I'm sure get ALOT out of what you have to say.In prison and in jail,I attended AA/NA when it was available,and I STILL remember how some of those people that came to see us talked about holding our heads up,and gave me inspiration when I just simply felt hopeless and ALONE.Just to know that someone actually gave a damn enough to spend their own time w/ no pay to come talk to us inmates always lifted my spirits when some of those guards seemes as though they just LOVED to see you down.
There are some decent Co's...few and far between,but don't let that one intimidate you.Your too strong minded for that anyways....
Hugs,
T.
Posted by: tammi at January 12, 2005 12:25 PM