Bastique

February 28, 2005

Constant Reminder

I got my Driver's License renewed on my birth month, in December. I went to the State of Florida Department of Highways and Motor Vehicles website, which is far more convenient than waiting in line for hours at the local Driver's License office. Just put your payment info into the form and bang!, you're renewed. As I received my fresh new drivers license in the mail, I realized there was one distinct disadvantage to this method. They use the picture that you last had.

When I last renewed my driver's license, it was August of 2000. I was heavily in the grips of my crystal meth addiction, was not working, and had in all tackiness bleached my already blond hair, and thought it looked good. My eyes and face was puffy. I was 33 years old, and pretty sad. I remember thinking at the time that I looked pretty good.

Last summer I watched the movie Spun, a movie starring Jason Schwartzman and a whole slew of other cast members, including Mickey Rourke, John Leguizamo and Deborah Harry. Jason plays Ross, this young college-dropout who is "Spun" on meth—the movie outlines a four-day run on the stuff with no sleep, and he encounters all sorts of wacky characters, also tweaked out, along the way. The outfits that some of the cast wore, most notably Mickey Rourke's psycho-cowboy garb, reminded me of tweaking life.

When I went out, I dressed in some pretty strange looking outfits, that I thought at the time were beyond stylish. Now that I look back on those days I have to laugh. I still don't dress like a typical a-gay fag, but at least now I dress down rather than "up."

It's one of the sure signs, other than the more subtle teeth grinding and rapid, nonsensical talking, that I can tell that someone's a bit too tweaked for words. The one who comes to mind is Bob (not his real age), who, in spite of his drug use is otherwise a really sweet guy, but he is also a middle-aged man who goes out of his house in the heat of day in tight Daisy-Mae short-shorts with red handkerchiefs in his back pockets. He thinks this is normal.

God I'm glad I'm clean. If I ever somehow decide forget what it was like, I have only my driver's license photo to remind me.

Posted by Bastique at 11:00 PM | Comments (3)

February 27, 2005

Terry Brooks' The Scions of Shannara

I haven't done a book review in a long time. That's not to say I haven't read a book in a while, quite the contrary: I've read about twelve books since my last book review. I've just been preferring to read than to actually write about them. But it's always good to know what people think about the books you read when you've read them. Also, by clicking on the links and buying them at Amazon.com, you're making me money.

Having said all that, it's been a couple of months since I read The Scions of Shannara, and I read it quickly, just like with all of Terry Brooks' books. I finished Wishsong of Shannara (without reviewing it) and immediately picked up Scions, which actually takes place several hundred years after Wishsong. This was the beginning of Brooks' new Shannara series, and he provides us with a number of characters this time, their story stretching over the entire length of the series. We encounter the young Ohmsfords, Par and Coll--Par possessive of the wishsong's magic (inherited from his ancestor), and Coll, his older, caretaking brother. Allanon, druid of the first trilogy, is dead, but from beyond sends a message to Cogline (who we find out is more than just an old man we remember from the end of Wishsong), to get the Ohmsford scions (there's a word, look it up!) to gather together and take on certain tasks. This includes the dark "uncle" to the Ohmsfords, Walker Boh, and the elvish-looking cousin, Wren Ohmsford.

What can I say? The book was wonderful and successfully carried the story in the tradition of the early series. It jumped around a bit, however, and although it's necessary for the Heritage of Shannara four-book series, it couldn't possibly be read on its own.

You need to move onward to the other books. I'll review them when I get to them.

But you can buy it here: The Scions of Shannara (Heritage of Shannara (Paperback))

Posted by Bastique at 7:51 PM | Comments (0)

February 26, 2005

Please visit my sponsor

Actually, hold on just a second before you visit my sponsor.

I just added Google AdSense to my website a few days ago, perhaps thinking I could make a little extra money. When people click those ads, I might get something. Occasionally. Do me a favor and visit them sometimes.

I got a strange one after I put up my last post...something called the Colon Cleansing Kit™. I couldn't figure out exactly what word prompted this to show up in my ads by Google, and I'm not allowed to click through myself. That would unecessarily cost the advertisers. So I right-clicked the ad and found out the URL that way.

I was disgusted by what I saw. I believe this is the first time that I visited a website and felt my stomach turn as soon as I got there. Here's just an example of the website's text:

My First Mucoid Plaque
When I had my first 'weird' bowel movement, I found myself uncharacteristically poking around in the toilet with a chopstick. When I lifted my movement, it felt like it was made of rubber. It was clingy, and I couldn't break it apart.

I was so grossed out by this website, I couldn't stop looking at it and clicking through to the pictures. Because of my distress, I thought I'd share the site with everyone. Before you go there, you must realize: This is a serious business site

Go ahead, click it. I dare you. the Colon Cleansing Kit™

Posted by Bastique at 11:33 PM | Comments (0)

February 25, 2005

Recipe for Supervirus

Right from the headlines! You can now brew your own Zesty Supervirus!

INGREDIENTS

• 100 sexually active men (preferably gay, but bisexual is acceptable)
• 1 strain of HIV, not immune to medications.
• 250-1000 grams of crystal methamphetamine
• In varying amounts, other party favors such as Alcohol, Ketamine, Cocaine and Ecstasy may be included for flavor.
• Handful of different HIV medications, but must include to some extent NRIs, NNRIs, Protease Inhibitors
• 1 willing human depository of bodily fluids.

SAUCE:

Take all 100 sexually active men and infect with HIV virus. Dole out crystal methamphetamine and other party favors freely and evenly over an extended period of time, setting aside from 10 to 25 grams for entrée. Some will not take party favors. This is all right.

Offer HIV medications to all of the sexually active men in accordance with their physicians orders. Don't worry if you don't have enough, most of those on crystal methamphetamine and party favors will not take as prescribed, not to mention some of the others.

Allow mix to brew for extended period of time. A portion of sexually active men may exchange bodily fluids freely, most notably the ones who have absorbed the highest concentration of crystal methamphetamine and other party favors. Set aside men for sauce, which will be a delicious mix of various strains of HIV, with varying immunity to different classes of medication.

ENTRÉE:

Take human depository and place on pan, face forward, rear up. Provide remaining 10 to 25 grams of crystal methamphetamine. Baste freely, inside and out, with each of the 100 sexually active men, over time.

Allow to cook over a month or so. Provide all varieties HIV medication to depository, eliminating those strains which no longer have immunity.

Your human depository is now rich and popping with your tasty HIV Supervirus. Don't forget to alert the media. Watch the resulting awe and amazement.

Serves from 10 guests to 2 million.

Posted by Bastique at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)

February 24, 2005

I'm sorry!

I have had so much work in front of me that I haven't had a moment to write up a nice blog entry. But...

My roommate is moving out: This means that there will be less television and more time to spend tied to my computer. Hopefully it won't be all work!

Posted by Bastique at 10:46 PM | Comments (0)

February 21, 2005

Leatherbore

I had a really great dinner at Catfish Dewey's tonight with some old friends, one of whom I hadn't seen in a few years. We talked about the usual things, Sci-fi shows, the old leather community (in which none of us is presently active), HIV and crystal meth. I can only wonder if any of the tables around us overheard our conversation. Catfish Dewey's traditionally has a redneck type crowd.

Oh, it's really good not to be a part of all that anymore. I know that one can don the leather vest and go out and not be tempted to drink or use drugs, but for me it's just not any fun anymore without. It's probably because of all the drugs I did in those days, and I can't seem to disconnect the association between the lifestyle and the drugs. Furthermore, drug use still seems to be overly tolerated in the leather community at large (at least here in Fort Lauderdale, if not abroad), and I'm sorry, I can't tolerate the use around me. I don't want to go back to that place again, any time soon.

Of course, it could also have no little bit to do with some of the people I would rather avoid out there “in the community.” Not that there is any great loss of those individuals, but I'd rather not have to deal with running into them and having to send off a polite, “fuck you.” It's happened a couple times already, and if they want to go to those places, I am more than happy staying away. They've laid claim to it.

Of course, as a result of the current plague of crystal meth, a lot more people have decided that they have kinks that they've never explored, and are suddenly joining up into the leather community, their only education as having read Larry Townsend's The Leatherman's Handbook and drawings by Tom of Finland. And then they show up, all tweaked out, and water down whatever anyone thought being a leatherman really ever was.

I still have good friends I knew from those days. But I like my life today without all those complications.

Posted by Bastique at 11:49 PM | Comments (1)

February 19, 2005

Constant Ine

Went with friends to see Constantine last night. At first I thought this would be a movie about how one man maintained an empire by declaring a state religion (See Council of Nicaea). Then, after seeing the first preview I thought it was a sequel to The Devil's Advocate. Not by a longshot.

In this comic book turned big screen production, Keanu Reeves plays John Constantine, a premier demon hunter who has a few demons in his own closet. It seems that God and Lucifer made a bet one time, in the beginning, to see which one could harvest the most souls on earth. Angels and Demons could influence mankind from their respective lairs, but could not actively cross over into the world. Earth is, however, filled with half-angels and half-demons, the latter of which Constanine has made it his life's ambition to deport back to Hell when they break the rules. Rachel Weisz playes Angela Dobson (as well as her identical twin, Isabel), a cop with a bit of a talent of discovering the bad guys, more than she realizes.

The movie is rife with Catholic symbolism and supports so much Catholic dogma I wouldn't be surprised if it were partially funded by the Catholic church. Friends with whom I went to see the movie also believe that there were subconscious suggestions about homosexuality being evil. I didn't quite see it, but maybe I've become anesthetized to those subliminal suggestions. When Constantine descends into the demon bar, there is a pair of lesbians (I think it's a man and a woman) fondling each other, clearly of demonic nature... and when Lucifer himself appears he seems just a tad too desirous of Keanu's character. Sorry guys, no gay man would be caught dead wearing that much white or leave his face with that many blemishes, especially one with the resources that Lucifer has. The King of the Underworld is undoubtedly a hetero, and needs a date with Queer Eye for the Straight Incarnation of Evil.

Shia LaBeouf, with whom I've been impressed in other movies, leaves a lot to be desired as a Constantine's sidekick. I have the feeling scenes of Shia were cut, too. The boy is there in the beginning and at the end. SPOILER AHEAD--Read no further if you intend to be surprised: It's the first time I've seen Shia perform a death scene. Needs work.

Tilda Swinton is absolutely fabulous in yet another androgynous role as the Angel (half-Angel?) Gabriel. Tilda made her mark playing a man who wakes up one day in the Eighteenth Century as a woman in 1992's Orlando, so she's already done some impressive gender-fuck roles. A commendable part.

Another character I was charmed with was the overweight, drunken priest, Father Hennessy, played by Pruitt Taylor Vince. I recognized Vince from his psychotic, multiple personality serial killer role in Identity a couple of years ago. This fellow will be going places, and will certainly pick up many future dramatic parts calling for overweight, psychotic, serial killer, and mentally disabled alcoholics! Larry Drake, watch out!

The movie was entertaining, and worth the $8.50 it cost me to see it at Las Olas Riverwalk, even though it remained predictable and left no surprises. The special effects were awesome!

Posted by Bastique at 5:10 PM | Comments (2)

February 18, 2005

Yellow Bracelets

I finally got one. Those yellow things you see wrapped around people's arms. The LiveStrong bracelets. And even at this late stage, people are asking me what they are and how do I get one?

What is the LiveStrong bracelet?

Lance Armstrong, famous cyclist and winner of the five Tour de France championship titles, was diagnosed with cancer three years prior to his first title. While he was being treated for cancer, he created the Lance Armstrong Foundation, whose mission is to help people with cancer around the world get the practial information and tools they need to “live strong&rdquo (hence the name: LIVESTRONG).

How do I get a LiveStrong armband?

You donate $1 to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

Where do I get a LiveStrong armband?

The best place is right from the LAF Store. Of course, you have to buy in increments of 10 or more, so it's best that you join with a friend and get one.

There's a Red AIDS Awareness bracelet, but I've yet to determine who's making it, or where the money goes. Plus it just seems too much like a knock-off. No, I prefer the original.

I just wish my wrist wasn't so tiny:

Posted by Bastique at 11:42 AM | Comments (0)

February 17, 2005

Tomato!

For anyone that knows Michael and Cary, the couple, they knew that while both of us liked to spend time outside in the garden, improving the looks of our house via a team effort, we liked to concentrate our efforts in different directions. I was certainly more florally oriented, notably in terms of hibiscus plants.

Michael, ever the Italian cook, worked on an herb and vegetable garden, providing us with the opportunity to enjoy quality home grown chard, peppers, oregano, and especially tomatoes. This is something I never took up after Michael began his prison sentence, forcing me to spend time at the produce department.

Last fall, tomato prices started to skyrocket, all over the nation. Just read my fellow blogger, who writes Misguided Affections, December entry entitled "Weekend Update":

"1. I paid 1.80 for ONE tomato this weekend. ONE LITTLE TOMATO. Does someone know the reason plain red tomatoes are $3.99/lb?"

Alas, I was forced to buy dubious looking "Fall Tomato Plants" and Fall seeds that I planted and seemed to do nothing but grow somewhat, without flowers, and then just sit there. Disappointment! In all, I got one bean from the entire affair! Whoa was me!

And then, last month, I saw a little tomato growing on one of the pitiful plants. I studied it day after day, and lo and behold, the little fellow ripened! I have provided a picture of it at the end of this post. The tomato variety is known as Homestead. (Click image for larger picture)

Another of the plants, this one known as Sunmaster, has now grown way beyond my expectations, and is full of the little green critters. The project was not a total failure, and soon I will have a multitude of tomatoes!

The price at the supermarket, has now, however, dropped. Can I win?

Posted by Bastique at 2:38 PM | Comments (1)

February 14, 2005

Picture of Melissa

I didn't have a picture last night when I posted the stuff about Melissa Etheridge, but I thought you'd appreciate it more if you saw it. This is her getting down with Joss Stone--doing Janis's Take a Piece of my Heart

Posted by Bastique at 11:09 PM | Comments (0)

February 13, 2005

Melissa's comeback

Melissa Etheridge performing Janis Joplin at the 47th Annual Grammy Awards just moments before I write this entry. Her head is clear of hair, and it's not just to look outlandish. Melissa Etheridge is being treated for Breast Cancer.

See this article from contactmusic.com, entitled Melissa Etheridge: Melissa Goes Bald for the Grammys:

Brave MELISSA ETHERIDGE appeared bald on the red carpet at the GRAMMY AWARDS yesterday (13FEB05) because she didn't want to hide her cancer battle.

The rocker, who was making her first public appearance after revealing her battle with cancer last year (04), insisted she's winning her personal fight.

She said, "I feel good, I finished chemo last month, I'm out, my hair's growing back. I'm feeling fine."

Etheridge was also set to perform a JANIS JOPLIN duet with British soul sensation JOSS STONE at the awards show.

But just to let you know that people survive, she belted her heart out, to a standing ovation from an audience of her peers. Melissa Etheridge, original platinum record dyke singer, diva extraordinaire, still has it, in spite of her difficulties.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a ray of light and happiness. Sometimes the good guys prosper. She gives me hope!

Posted by Bastique at 10:22 PM | Comments (1)

February 10, 2005

Nearest Book

This is one of those dumb blog games, but I'm always a sucker for dumb blog games. I got this one from Vita Absque Deus :

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal...along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

Here is mine:

"Pourrait aussi être une forme suffixée en -iko- de donnos ‘noble’, sans que la géminée soit rendue graphicquement, mais le contexte d'imprécations de sorcière se prête mal à ce sens."

(part de la definition de la mot galoise, donicon)
-- Dictionionnaire de la Langue Gauloise - Xavier Delamarre

Does this make me sound like I have no life whatsoever? I swear that this was the closest book to me!

Posted by Bastique at 11:56 AM | Comments (5)

February 9, 2005

Happy Chinese New Year!

Given my prior entry about the Cock Flavoured Soup, people might say I'm obsessed with roosters. I'm not. I have a certain amount of control over it. I don't think about them all the time.

Still, it should be a great year. According to the 60-year Lunar Chinese calendar cycle, which includes different elements in each series of twelve years, today begins the year of the wood cock. Happy Wood Cock New Year 2005!

Posted by Bastique at 9:05 AM | Comments (0)

February 8, 2005

Depression sucks.

Trying to get out of bed in the morning, trying to get motivated to do some work. It's not that I don't have work ahead of me...it's that I don't have the energy to do it.

It's like I've got a great weight attached to my legs, dragging me throughout the day. My creativity is severely limited. I can create pictures that don't take much work, I can write brief posts. I can respond in a minor way to emails.

What I feel I cannot do is design a website. Write a short story. Write extended posts. Anything that involves more than fifteen minutes worth of work, seems difficult at best.

What do I have to do? Force myself to move forward. Eventually I can get back in my groove feel right about accomplishing more than just the bare minimum.

Posted by Bastique at 9:51 PM | Comments (2)

February 5, 2005

Pull-over

Last night, I am on the cellphone with a friend, driving north on Dixie Highway across from Oakland Park Boulevard. I have just finished a delicious Veal Parmesana from Bona's Italian Restaurant in Five Points with a group of friends, and was on my way home. Now there are blue lights suddenly behind me. I pull across two lanes to find a nice easy spot on Dixie, next to the railroad tracks, and pull out my license and registration, rolling down my window.

Although I'm curious about being stopped, I didn't think I'd been driving too fast, nor did I believe I'd done anything stupid. Seeing as I'd had to end my cellphone call quickly, I haven't had time to realize the cost or implications of receiving a traffic ticket. I roll down my window and the light shines in. The police officer is an attractive, albeit miniscule young man in dark blue/black uniform, not the white-and green markings of BSO I've only just seen a Florida Highway Patrol interrupt the intersection at Five Points, but their uniforms are beige. It is a Wilton Manors police officer.

“I didn't think I was going that fast.”

“You weren't. 42 in a 35 mile an hour zone. When was the last time you had a ticket?”

“2000.” I forget my out-of-state infraction in 2002 and tell him 2000.

“Where are you coming from?”

“Bona's Italian Restaurant.”

“Where are you going?”

“Home.” Not the most exciting bit of news.

He smiles. “Have you ever been arrested?”

Would it make a difference if I had? “No.”

“Thank you Sir, you're free to go.”

It's not until after he walks back to his car that I realize that he has a “K-9” emblem on his uniform. This is the second time I've been stopped by a Wilton Manors K-9 cop—the previous time the dog was all over my truck without finding a thing. This time, I don't even get to see the dog.

All I can say is that it's a great day to be clean. If I'd been using drugs, or even drinking, there would be some kind of problem with this officer. Instead, I'm just a routine stop and I get to go along my way.

Was there any particular reason he singled my truck out? Maybe the rainbow flag on my back windshield—or my “State of the Arts” license plate, common among gay people down here? All I can say, is that it doesn't matter why I got stopped. I left without even a traffic ticket, and I arrived safely home, thankful that I am living a sober life.

Posted by Bastique at 11:56 AM | Comments (1)

February 3, 2005

Still here

It's been a rough recovery from my trip to Pennsyvlania... Came back with a bug, and haven't had much energy for much.

Worse, my abcess is back--with a vengeance. Take an Advil 800mg--hope for the best, call my Doctor in the morning because my dental insurance doesn't start until the beginning of March.

Oh, and the roomie is moving out at the end of February. Anybody looking to share a house for eight months or so?

I have to pull myself together before I fall completely apart.

Posted by Bastique at 10:56 PM | Comments (1)